You ever notice there are no father in law jokes? If I had to guess it is because men mellow out as they get old. We spend our most of our lives being trying to bad asses, full piss and vinegar, then once we get old we realize the futility of all our efforts. Then on day we realize that there is no one left to impress, with that knowledge under his belt a man can spend the rest of his short live chilling out. (By 35 for most men half our life is gone, after 70 every day we get is a bonus, so why stress about it?)
Women however, get tenser as they get older. Women spend most of their years raising kids, and a husband, but kids grow up and move away. Then what are women suppose to do with themselves? They are alone, and crave attention, but rather than wait for it to come to them they go get it. Years of refining their secret weapon: guilt, combined with a melodramatic flair that a teenage girl would think was over top, are brought to bear against the world.
I think it is built into us:
Remember men are designed for short, brutal lives. It was a selective advantage we put the smallest amount of food on the table but it was the most nutritious (meat), we protected our women and children, and we taught the next generation of boys how to repeat the cycle then we died, because there was nothing left to do. Think about it boys and young men believe they are indestructible, and in fact are built extremely resilient, which is good thing when you are trying to kill animals that are bigger and faster, and don’t want to die. Fear would just get in the way, but that is what the older men are for. Sure they can’t run down a deer any more, but they able to teach caution and finesse. Then once they can’t even do that, they get to sit back and tell stories about their glory days, to ensure all the knowledge is passed on and that it gets to the grandkids intact, in case their father is a deadbeat. (Have you ever noticed that men’s life spans are about two generations, no matter how long the generation interval is?)
Women were built with a different role in mind, which is why they are in general built to be more durable. Sure they might die in child birth, but their chances of dieing in a bison related incident was very low. Don’t smack me but if your role is to serve as repository information, and have domestic skills you should be long lived. While the tribe might follow a herd of bison so the men get numerous opportunities to teach, knowledge of a particular berry might only be useful every few years. Also, a woman who is too old to pick berry’s can still be useful keeping the fire burning and the grandkids safe. She served a pivotal role in family she was need and appreciated, and revered for her knowledge. However, now the pattern is broken, the generation time is long enough that all the necessary knowledge can be acquired by the current generation of women, and women have the time to raise their own kids. Do I think it is instinct? Maybe, I mainly think that a life spent being useful and needed is hard to give up, and so they try not too.
Before you go off on me about how old fashion my thoughts are, I remind you that there are still hunter/gather tribes, and creation or evolution, most of human history this is how it was men hunted and women gathered, or with the advent of agriculture men worked and women kept house. Sure there is little need for that now, but three generations doesn’t erase a pattern thousands of generations of old. Sexual dimorphism and gender roles served us well for a very long. I am not advocating a return to the old ways, I like my meat off the hoof when I get it and I prefer modern medicine over old wives tales. I am just pointing that we age differently, and give my thoughts on why, along with a few thoughts the making of humankind.
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