I have learned several life lessons from my years of watching TV that I want to share with you. I am not talking about the obvious stuff like if you have your mortal enemy in your grasp, shot them, don’t talk them to death! If you feel the need for them to hear your brilliant plan in the last moments of their life then shot them in the liver or knee caps first, that way they’re still alive but not going anywhere. (How many perfectly good plans for world domination have been ruined by a long winded discussion before the coup de grace?) Or if you life feels like a soap opera then always get their full life history before you marry someone. How awkward would it be to marry your long lost sibling, the child of your parents arch-enemy, or an assassin sent to kill you?
I am talking about less obvious stuff, like if you fly over any ocean other than the North Atlantic (too cold and few islands), your carryon bag should always contain a batteryless LED flashlight, fishing line (and hooks if you can), protein bars, water purifying tablets, vitamins, Gatorade powder, a box of heavy gauge trashbags, a roll of aluminum foil, condoms (not for what you think), a survival manual which you have read, broad spectrum antibiotics, 50 SPF sunscreen, OFF, pain killers, a first aid kit, soap, several sweaters, a pair of goggles, and books you wouldn’t read unless you had all the time in the world. Oh sure the security people will look at you funny, but you will thank me when your plane crashes and you end up on a deserted island. (Yes, there is other stuff you would need, but it is one thing for the security people to look at you fun, it is another for them to take you into the little room for interrogation.)
For the truly paranoid use luggage that floats and bring more food bars, water purifying tablets, medical supplies and antibiotics, tarps, rope and heavy string, magnesium matches, several knives, a Leatherman, a heavy machete, a wire saw, wire animal traps, wet stones and spice blends that are very strong with lots of salt and pepper/chili. For the long term seeds for heirloom corn, squash, spinach, lentils/peas/beans/soy, chili peppers, tomatoes, herbs, alliums, and cabbage (if it is cool enough) (bring several varieties of each since some might not adapt, and heirloom is important since you will be saving seeds and hybrids don’t breed true, rice, and other cereal grains are impractical since they require lots of land and labor. Keep the seeds in an airtight container, since they shouldn’t get wet if you go down, and if you don’t so the USDAs dogs can’t smell them when your bags are checked.) Remember this is survival not civilization so you will be gill netting, trapping, and practicing slash and burn agricultural all of which are illegal, but they will have to rescue you before they arrest you. Also, consider your footwear, sensible shoes that tie are you best bet, leather soles or heels are not shoes you wish to live in for a long time. (This is also that same stuff you should have along if you expect an accident or dragons destroy civilization.) While this is not a complete list of survival stuff, the rule of thumb is you want stuff that can break like a radio or requires something like bullets to function.
The other thing I have learned is that in future when humans are getting mechanical parts I don’t want anything that would let my mind to be directly connected to the net or core or whatever they will call it in the future. Sure it would be cool to have all the parts that break (organs, bones, etc) replaced with mechanical super parts or to have eagle vision across the entire electromagnetic spectrum. I might even go so far as to get external memory installed so I could keep information that was likely to be forgotten in it (such as directions, people’s names, or calculus, yes it would be cybernetic palmpilot.) But no direct connections to the outside and certainly nothing that was wireless. Yes telepathy would be cool but the risk of problems wouldn’t be worth it. While I am sure that anyone who entered my mind would be unable to make any sense out of the huge amounts of jumbled information to do anything (if they weren’t killed instantly by the connection) how can you have secrets if your storage facility isn’t secure? Now days you have to bribe or torture to get information from people, if your mind is connected to shared network all someone would have to do is record your dreams, or in cyber lingo you’re your mind.
Remember “Just say No to cybernetics!”
No comments:
Post a Comment