Life

Despite urging by others to write about my life on here I won’t. Why? Because only people I know read this, and so it seems unwise. I will say one thing, to all those who have and hopefully will continue to support me thank you. I am something of an ass, and I am defiantly a dark cloud sometimes, so I don’t say thanks enough, so thank you! (You know who you are.)

I write this because I can already tell that over the next few months I will become a different person. Notice I did not say better person. I am already becoming more volatile, and the process has just started. When I look from inside out I see the changes and while I am proud of them I can’t stop them either and it seems to be getting worse. For those who have defended their dissertations I am hopeful that they will understand that these are not permanent changes, for those who haven’t I hope they understand as well. I ask forgiveness for all the things I will say and do over the next few months.

It would be great if the last stages of getting a PhD were like a butterfly. I would spend a few months in a cocoon peacefully sleeping off the last 6 years then I would pop Dr. Butterfly or in my case Dr. Moth. However, as near as I can tell the process is actually best describe by the Phoenix, assuming the Phoenix is still alive when it is consumed before rising from its own ashes. While I have been on the pyre for awhile now, I can see that this is only the beginning, and oh it is going to get soooo much worse before it gets better. If this turns out to be one of my last moments of lucidity for awhile, thanks again for being there and I am sorry for what I will say and do in the coming weeks.

I must admit right now I really really want to write about my life and what happened today on here but can’t especially since I need to mellow out a bit. I will say that sometimes “help” hurts a lot, but you have to remember the intent.